Judith Viorst. Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. These banana puns are going to make you peel over in laughter. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." Hershey. 3. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. They had a baby, Ruth. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. But it could just be a Chinese whisper. Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? 2. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". A: Because it lost its filling Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! What did you guys do? Telling deez nuts jokes is a funny way to direct a conversation into utter nonsense! a!. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. Kuhtuhluh Report. Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm A mootation. Nursing Home. When Luke was having trouble eating noodles with chopsticks, Leia said: "Use the forks, Luke." Chewie wanted a biscuit, so Luke gave him a chocolate chip Wookie. 3. You're the milk to my cookie. Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. Cacao. Chocolate is natures way of making up for Mondays. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Forget you put it in the microwave. I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. Get stuck in. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp So it fits in the box. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? Our selection of dark chocolate jokes ranging from chocolate bars to chocolate cookies will make you laugh so hard. So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. Because you're making me drool. John Milton, The Devils Advocate. . The other one says, Baking a cake (sick dirty joke) (X) One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. So candy bars are a health food. You never know what youre gonna get. 79 Dirty Jokes So Racy, You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes - Best Life What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Are you chocolate? A Kit Kat! Here, have a carrot! Diabetes. You are signed up for our newsletter! Dont they actually counteract each other? It can make us feel loved. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? 84. 4. I appreciate a balanced diet. I love hole foods. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Baby youre so sweet youd put Hershey's out of business! Copy This. When it comes to stealing chocolate bars Chocoearly. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Chocolate chimp! The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?He drank it before it was cool.What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?A Kit Kat bar.What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?I just stepped foot on Mars.What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?A chocolate chip Wookie.Whats the suns favourite chocolate bar?A Milky Way.Whats the opposite of chocolate?Choco-EARLY.What do you call stolen cocoa?Hot chocolate.Whats an astronauts favourite chocolate?A Mars bar.What fruit loves chocolate?A coco-nut.Why did the M&M go to University?Because he wanted to be a Smartie.What happens before it rains chocolate?It sprinkles.What do you call a cow with a stutter?Cacao. Best chocolate jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 28 Chocolate jokes I'm just happy to see you. I will grant you three wishes, says the genie.For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol. The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds. The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me. For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.PETA is like a box of chocolates.They kill dogs.Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate.If thats true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?Life is like a box of chocolates.The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.My uncles joke he just came up with: What are chocolates preferred pronouns?Her, She.They recently found a mummy in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.They think it was pharaoh rocher.Why should you always melt chocolate over boiling water?Because if you try and melt it under boiling water, youll die.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing rightThe moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Top 101 Chocolate Jokes That Will Make You LOL | Les Listes I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. The Archbishop of Cadbury. I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. Now, isnt that handy? President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? 7. Hot chocolate. Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. PayDay! While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. If it aint chocolate, it aint breakfast! I Heard Cadbury Are going to Make An Oriental Chocolate Bar Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team? 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. (LogOut/ I can definitely make an adjustment for you. How dairy steal my chocolate! You are lovelier than all the sweets in the world combined. Its nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. How do you 120 Mom Jokes That Are Sure to Make Your Mama Smile What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? If you were my husband I would poison your tea. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. You are smoother and more palatable than a fondant and I like that. Bob Saget: That's What I'm Talking About is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). I identify as a chocolate bar. 2. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? The third kid went down and said, "Weeeeeeee . Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. A Ferrari Rocher! Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. Do you like it dark or milky? - Jack Whitehall. Here, have some chocolate. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Reply. A pound a day often. We have gathered some of the funniest and amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, funny chocolate stories, puns, and one-liners youll ever see. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate because it has some similar nutrients (calcium, phosphorus), and because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. Then you could kill as much as you desire. How dairy! What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. What is the meaning of life? ChocoLATE How do you make a pool table laugh? When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Mother to son: "I'm warning you. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. dirty baking jokes Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" You never know what youre going to get when you open a box of chocolates. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. That way, at least youll get one thing done. 2. Funny Chocolate Day Jokes 2023 Memes GIF 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side Q: Whats the technical difference between cacao and cocoa? Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? Chocolate Ice Cream. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. You are a fountain of all the sweets in the world and that is why I love you. Betty Crocker. A: Because no one wants to quit. Want to come with me? Donut rain on my parade. Mr. Goodbar! You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. But chocolates chocolate. Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. . A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! Cremation. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. He was nutty! 5. Hey can you accompany me? I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Crushed nuts? asked the server. What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? There was a convertible. ao! 7. A marsbar! He rubs it and a genie appears. In the beginning, the Lord created chocolate, and he saw that it was good. Your email address will not be published. You make everything taste better just like cocoa. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? Candy! There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. A: Proofreading. Choco-early. Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A Choco-Light! Nothing is more romantic than chocolate. Chocolate covered aunts. 147 Chocolate Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. *wink wink*. 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! 2023 - Jokes Quotes Factory The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? It can make us feel happy and a lot more. Chocoearly. One snatches your watch. Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Cao-cao! Change). Chocolate Jokes Dirty - Dirty Funny Jokes Chalk What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. She said she didn't have time. Dark chocolate chimp. John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? I dont know babe but I think my love for you is enough to stop your cravings for sweet. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Hes a chocolate lab. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke "People think I hate sex. Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. A chocolate shake. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? He turned into a box of chocolates. List of Archie Comics characters - Wikipedia Share. "Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier. Glazed and confused. You make everybody happy like a sweet food. What do cannibals eat for dessert? One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. What do you call stolen cocoa? I do not need a ganache on my cake because you are enough sweet for me. A Butterfinger! Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. Chalk, who? Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. Life is a like a box of chocolates, and I cannot imagine my life without you. A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" Imogen. So, what about chocolate jokes? It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. We suggest to use only working chocolate chocolate milk piadas for adults and blagues for friends. A: Theyre too hard to peel. What kind of bar is kid-friendly? 81.12 % / 2071 votes. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter Top 49 Chocolate Jokes That Will Leave You Wanting More - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Make your lady smile with these jokes. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. A marsbar! If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. At home it is always sweet o clock. What are you talking about? A man found a magic lamp on the beach. A chocolate bar. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. He needed a chocolate filling. 2. Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? Are you ready? Cocoa-Nuts. Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? "You mean J.C? There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Sniggas. Are you Willy Wonka? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) Chocolate chimp. If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. Forrest Gump. Hershey. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Are you ready? French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. ", A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Here youll find the best chocolate jokes, were sure youll agree. We're also sorry the chocolate is half-eaten. Food Puns. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Maria. Knock knock! You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate.